新时代的儿女，超自然的养育[5月15日家庭的原理]

家庭的原理｜之三: 新时代的儿女，超自然的养育

5月15日

家庭信息

朱志山牧师

经文: 出1:6-10; 创4:1-5,17; 申6:4-9

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当儿女从世界领受的越过父母所能教导的，父母一定要从神的话语领悟那超自然的儿女观与儿女教育法。很多做父母的知道要教育儿女，但很少父母认识儿女是神给我们对下一个时代的使命。当我们只想让我们的儿女好，却不能因他们而对下一个时代产生灵魂的负担，我们对儿女的“好意”渐渐会成为我们的担忧愁烦。因为在某个层面上，他们走的路是我们没有走过的，他们受的试探是我们上个时代少受的。所以，若我们不将拯救万民的使命安放在我们养育儿女的眼光里，我们在儿女们踏入他们的世界时会失去对他们的理解。在现在这么快速变化的时代里，当父母只懂得以自己的世界来认识孩子的世界，那其实是开始失去他们了。我们当晓得，每一个时代的断层，就是福音被传到下一个时代的断层。很多父母在面对这样的现实时总是掉入两种消极的光景，一种就是留在否认或较强硬性的心态：“我们以前的时代都没有这样，为何这时代需要这么特别？”另一种是落入自责与无助的心态：“嗨呀，我就是无法理解我的儿女，怎么办？”其实，这两种心态都不来自神。这两种心态都不能将我们带入领会怎么拯救我们的儿女与下一个时代的年轻人。这两种心态只有把我们的关注放在“我的儿女没问题就行”。其实，从永恒的角度来看：这是非常自私的。从短暂的今生来说：这种自私会演变成一种愚昧，因为我们将儿女套在一种自我认为优越的狭窄范围，但他目前的优越仍大大缺少面对某后时代挑战的诀窍 (know-how)。那也是因为我们在我们短暂与狭窄的眼光中，我们根本没有更大的远见、心志与智慧来保护他。那么，当人认知这点时，我们就会看见孩子教育界里渐渐出现一种名词，叫“全人教育”。这类观念给父母制造出一种理想，愿意孩子在各方面（学习、品行、为人、意志等）都兼优。没错，这是一个理想。但有多少孩子能达到这点呢？又有多少孩子能为了国度来善用他所有兼优的条件呢？其实，从福音的角度来看，我们要真领会我们的逊色之处也是一种荣耀。当我们认识了福音之后，我们优越之处让主使用，我们逊色之处成为我们非依靠主不可，也能以怜悯理解他人。那是一个福音的改造才能带来的。那么，父母要如何能将这样的福音传递给孩子呢？第一，就是我们的内心真信与享受了这样的福音，这样我们教育的中心精神才能与世不同；第二，我们教导孩子的诀窍要不断的发展。我们能将一个道理告诉他，但不一定能使他的心领悟那道理，从而得益处。而且，当孩子渐渐长大时，你的教育能否不断的更新？你对他说的话有一样的属灵原则，但能够巧妙的变通，使他心服；第三，不管孩子在当中经历怎样的过程，你要能够将他交托给神，心里认知他是神的器皿，是神亲自要塑造与使用的。在这点上，你今天在养育他的过程中就要学习，特别每当你在他身上的有些理想无法达成时，你要借着神的应许深思神在他身上做什么，也要深思神要透过他教导你什么；最后，你要产生对他的时代的孩子有灵魂的负担。倘若你不开始注意与他一样的孩子，为他们的救恩祷告，你很快又会掉入一种自私愚昧的教育心态，以致因孩子感到忧烦无助。

When children receive teachings that are beyond what their parents can offer, the parents must grasp the supernatural view about their children and ways of nurturing children with God’s words. As parents, many acknowledge the need to educate their children, yet few realize that children are the missions God has given us for the next generation. When we only want the good of our children, and are unable to have burden for the souls of the next generation, the “good” we bear towards our children will gradually turn into our concerns and grievances. This is because at certain level, the paths they are undertaking are not something that we had been; their temptations are not what we encountered in our generation. Hence, if we do not place the mission to redeem all nations in our perspective of raising children, we will lose understanding about them as they step into the world. In this rapidly changing era, when parents only use the world they knew to know their children’s world, they are indeed starting to lose them. We ought to know the chasm in each generation is the chasm for gospel to pass on to the next generation. Many parents always fall into 2 pessimistic states in face of this reality: firstly, they remain in a denial or stubborn mentality, “our generation wasn’t like that, why should this generation be so special?” Second will be the self-rebuke and helpless mentality, “Sigh, I will never understand my children, what should I do?” Actually, these 2 mentalities are not from God, and are unable to let us grasp the know-how to redeem our children and youths of the next generation. In contrary, these 2 mentalities constraint our focus on “as long as my children have no problem”. Actually, from the perspective of eternity - this is very selfish. From the angle of transient lifetime: such selfishness will turn into a kind of foolishness, as we frame our children in a narrow zone which we self-acclaimed as excellent, but this current excellence greatly lack the know-how to face the challenge of coming generations. All these arise because in our transient and narrow perspective, we cannot protect them with greater insights, will, and wisdom. When people realize this, we see the gradual emergence of a term “holistic education” in education. Such thoughts create a kind of ideals among parents, leading them to desire their children to excel in various aspects (learning, character, virtues, determination etc). Certainly, this is an ideal. But is this something attainable by all children? And how many children can wisely use all their excellent conditions for kingdom’s sake? Actually, looking from the gospel viewpoint, we need to truly accept the fact that the areas which we are lacking in are also a kind of glory. After knowing the gospel, our strengths can be used by God, our lacking compels us to depend on God and enables us to empathize with others. This is something that can only be shaped by the gospel. How should parents pass on this kind of gospel to the children? Firstly, our inner hearts must first believe and enjoy such gospel, as such, our central spirit in parenting will stand out from the rest; secondly, our know-how in teaching the children need to evolve. We can tell them a theory, but we may not convince their hearts to understand this theory to receive benefits from it. Moreover, when they gradually grow up, do you continue to renew your parenting methods? There is a kind of spiritual principle in your words and they are versatile and convince his hearts; thirdly, no matter what kind of process your children are in, you need to entrust him to God and be affirmed in your hearts that he is God’s vessel, and God will personally sculpture and use him. In the process of nurturing him, in particular, when he cannot attain your ideals, you need to meditate through God’s promise what God is doing in him; and what is God trying to teach you through him. Finally, it needs to stir up burden towards the souls of the children in his generation. If you do not start to pay attention to children like him and pray for their salvation, you will quickly fall into those selfish and foolish mentalities of nurturing your kids, making them helpless and frustrated.

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